....

If I were to die now...what would I regret? I dont know. Not being at my grandma's deathbed? Letting a girl I liked a lot go w/o trying cos I felt that it wouldn't work out? Over-turning a jeep that almost killed me and another?? I doubt I would. They don't matter to me anymore. I think.
If I die now. What's gonna change? People will mourn of cos. Some longer some shorter. Time heals all wounds. I guess my family would be most affected. Esp my mum, she wouldn't take it very well. As for my siblings, they're still young, the memories will fade. How about my friends? Of cos they will feel sad but in less than a month, I would be forgotten. What remains of me but a name engraved on an urn or niche....

Salohcin Leahpar Otten 21.12.81-19.07.04,
passed away aged 22, leaving behind....
"the only bible verse he knew by heart Matt11:28..."
Died before he could make any significant contribution to this world...
Insignificant Little Pea...
Drop of mediocrity in the vastness of emptiness...

Who would I see at my funeral...how would they react? Who would comfort them who would care? This scenario plays often in my mind but never has it been so clear. The longer I live the less people I see...and even these few the faster they heal cos the wounds my death brings gets smaller by the day...

I rem this bk I read after my A levels...Metamorphosis...I rem this guy who became a bug and who slowly but surely was in the house but no one bothered...heh...isolation...aloofness...degeneration. Go read the book, I bet some of you would feel the same.

Disclaimer: Pls for pete's (and whoever else who has common sense)...this is a mere reflection of the author's conjugated thoughts. There is no suicidal tendency or idealation. Suicidal Risk is NIL.