there's so many things I learnt this week about stuff and about myself...
1. from today's Simpsons episode: I watched this episode b4...the one where Maude, Flaunder's wife, dies. Flaunder has to get over the sudden death of his wife and the unthinkable actually happens...he blamed God and stopped going to church...for all of 30 mins tt is cos the next thing u see is him doing after blaming God n declaring tt he wont go to church is him speeding there...I rem being moved by this episode...effect not as great this time...cos it bines with tannine or something in the tea to de-generate it or something...basically its better tt way...didnt know tannine was tt bad for us...
2. learnt from gen bio lect today tt u shd add milk to your tea cos it bines with tannine or something in the tea to de-generate it or something...basically its better tt way...didnt know tannine was tt bad...n did u know tt ppl use stuff like caffeine to kills herbivous?? its like an insecticide...n ppl r downing so much caffeine a day!
3. something about myself: Last fri i was in sch till 1+ sat till 2+ then sunday night 3+ reached home 4+ woke up at 6+ had a presentation at 8+am...I realise how I suck at handling stress/pressure...realised how bad a leader I was...how I couldnt really involve those who wanted to, then I casually excluded another cos I knew she wasnt interested so I didnt even bother trying to get her down for stuff...then those tt were there were those closer to me...and I kinda pissed some of them off...maybe not there n then...I really couldnt take those nights when the work didnt seem to end or rather couldnt seem to finish...then on Mon when all of us lacked sleep and we had 2 presentations, it was so easy to get irritated...sigh...remains me of my army days when I was this bastard whenever I lacked sleep...just ask my trench-digging buddy...he got the brunt of it...n thanks to me his blank attachment got stolen...(haha but I stole the sergeant's one back)...
anyway just hope tt i coordinate things better, not piss ppl off, and possibly try to include everyone in grp work...sometimes I dont trust certain ppl...sometimes I dont want to inconvenience others...oh well...something I gotta work on...
Friday, October 29, 2004
Monday, October 25, 2004
Forum
Hi all...I'm finalising details for my proj now...then preparing presentation which is like 20%...die man dont know if i can wake up at 6am tomolo...presenting from 8am-11am...dont know when...sigh...oh well...left presentation...hate sch...arg! hope i dont buang on way home...o/w my proj grp mates will really die..k gtg...here's to the night...f***
Sunday, October 24, 2004
AS6
here I m now at AS6 dept in sch...outside LT15 to be specific...trying to do my proj which seems to be progressing at snail's pace...what appeared so promising a few days ago is now a nightmare. Can't seem to be able to come out with a proper framework...I mean we are only students...if we could come out with our own theories and frameworks I guess I would apply for his job and get him kicked out?!?! oh well...still in sch...tomolo is another long day...hope it turns out fine...
Monday, October 18, 2004
Arg!
freakin' hell..I lost my Cat class kids' Godparents contacts and their confirmation names...ironically cos I cleared out my table and prob threw it away! so much for being tidy.
Now i dont know who i called, dont have some contacts and have to get all the names again. so irritating.
felt a little guilty jus now for not telling my CGLs tt i wasnt gg for CG...it has become so ingrained in me NOT to attend tt I completely forgot abt it till like 8+? sigh. no guilt abt not attending though...just for now informing karen or reggie....
still feeling agitated still feeling stressed
can somebody whip my candy ass!
hai~ pathetic attempt at poetry.
Now i dont know who i called, dont have some contacts and have to get all the names again. so irritating.
felt a little guilty jus now for not telling my CGLs tt i wasnt gg for CG...it has become so ingrained in me NOT to attend tt I completely forgot abt it till like 8+? sigh. no guilt abt not attending though...just for now informing karen or reggie....
still feeling agitated still feeling stressed
can somebody whip my candy ass!
hai~ pathetic attempt at poetry.
Sunday, October 17, 2004
Cortisol Levels High
The hormone cortisol, which is released in the body during stressed or agitated states, is also known as the so-called "stress hormone." Cortisol is a steroid hormone made in the adrenal glands, which are small glands adjacent to the kidneys. Cortisol secretion increases in response to any stress in the body, whether physical (such as illness, trauma, surgery, or temperature extremes) or psychological. When cortisol is secreted, it causes a breakdown of muscle protein, leading to release of amino acids (the "building blocks" of protein) into the bloodstream. These amino acids are then used by the liver to synthesize glucose for energy, in a process called gluconeogenesis. This process raises the blood sugar level so the brain will have more glucose for energy. At the same time the other tissues of the body decrease their use of glucose as fuel. Cortisol also leads to the release of so-called fatty acids, an energy source from fat cells, for use by the muscles. Taken together, these energy-directing processes prepare the individual to deal with stressors and ensure that the brain receives adequate energy sources.
According to the following I guess it was good that I had high cortisol levels during this weekend.
Today I really got off on the wrong side of bed and I was mean to almost everyone I saw, including my cat class, sis n family. Was so stressed. Guess I'm like the man who got screwed by the boss and came home to kick to dog. Displacement I believe it is called. Things got much better after my afternoon nap. So here I m...alive and wanting to kick something.
According to the following I guess it was good that I had high cortisol levels during this weekend.
Today I really got off on the wrong side of bed and I was mean to almost everyone I saw, including my cat class, sis n family. Was so stressed. Guess I'm like the man who got screwed by the boss and came home to kick to dog. Displacement I believe it is called. Things got much better after my afternoon nap. So here I m...alive and wanting to kick something.
Friday, October 15, 2004
Thank you...
for all those who said a prayer for my sis. She's fine though her mouth is kinda stiched up n she has a gold chain connected to one of her tooth thru the gums...they're gonna pull it down a bit every month. My sis is a brave gal...she's been in and out of hospital since 3 cos of asthma...n she's proudly showing off her 4 extracted teeth whilst me n my bro cringe at their sight.
Thanks also to all those who have been left your words on my blog...means a lot to me. Been feeling alone recently. Can't even get a dinner kaki...a anything kaki...I realise I tend to be ard for ppl but its not reciprocated. I have a few gd frens but they really have their own lives n at least ONE person they can count on. I don't seem to have any such ONE person anymore. Sucks.
Thanks also to all those who have been left your words on my blog...means a lot to me. Been feeling alone recently. Can't even get a dinner kaki...a anything kaki...I realise I tend to be ard for ppl but its not reciprocated. I have a few gd frens but they really have their own lives n at least ONE person they can count on. I don't seem to have any such ONE person anymore. Sucks.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Request...
My sis will be going for a minor op tomolo...to remove a tooth that is near her nose...its quite near the sinus n she will be under GA. Pls say a little prayer for her ya? Can't help worrying for her though its supposed to be nothing serious. But still not local anaetesia lor...its GA! have to be at NUH by 730 tomolo morn...k thanks one n all.
I think this is a little extreme!!!
Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.
Image is a painting by Natalya Nesterova,
source:ca80.lehman.cuny.edu/.../
images/fallen_angel.jpg
*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by
STB Scholarship Interview Round 1
I went for the first round of the STB Scholarship Rounds yest at STB. It's this really cool place in town...behind Tanglin Mall there. There was a group of about 20 of us. Went alone, ending up knowing two girls there. Most of the ppl were from arts but I have not seen most of them before. It was quite interesting. Started off with a briefing abt STB, what it does blah blah blah. Then we were broken up into 3 groups and had to take part in 'games'.
The first activity was actually to prepare for a presentation at the end of the day. As usually, there would be a few guys who wayang and as usu I wasnt in the mood for any of it. My group had lots of guys...like 5 guys and 2 gals...the other grps had the oppo composition. Anyway, one of the girls didnt speak up at all cos the guys were dominating the show, cos there were ppl assessing all of us. Felt we did quite a lousy job cos at the end of the 20mins we still didn't really get anything concrete out.
The second activity was better cos I had quite a bit to chip in. It was called some "Man on the moon" thingy where we crashed on the moon n had to rank items to bring with us on a mission to get to mother ship or something. Anyway, I started the ball rolling and managed to persuade them to do certain things though some idiots still refused to use my method (which in my opinion was quite efficient!) oh well...then after tt we had to play this game where we had to form into circles and then using our fingers (pretend your hand is a gun position) to lower a hulla-hoop without our fingers losing contact with the hoop. Its not as easy as you think cos the hoop tends to go up unless everyone relaxes.
Then was the deadly presentation. My group was the last and I was the last speaker. Was quite nervous n guess what...the earlier guys took too much time that I only had 30 sec+ to speak and I was cut off b4 I could even make my 2nd point. Sigh.
Then we had one-on-one interviews. I was the last in my group. Sigh. You know my problem?? I can't lie. And the assessor was good. He could tell that I still couldnt "let go" of social work. So he told me to consider carefully first cos they only want ppl who can commit 100% and asked me to email them if I want to be considered for the scholarship.
I don't think I will.
*My Day Today*
I woke up, did some readings and embarked on my 4 page essay. I expected to take 2-3hrs but ended up spending more than 6hrs on it. Sigh. And its a piece of crap. You know how you know after you write it? Sometimes you feel confident (may be misplaced though ;) sometimes you know you are just writing it for the sake of handing it up. I hate it but I cant help it. arg!
Things got much better when I went to Bridget's place for Confirmation meeting. She made wonderful PIZZA for all of us...had cupcakes, fruits (I didnt touch it) and English tea!! haha wonderful! man...journey is ending soon...till then there's so much to do! arg!
k going to edit my essay before submitting it...nitez one n all...
The first activity was actually to prepare for a presentation at the end of the day. As usually, there would be a few guys who wayang and as usu I wasnt in the mood for any of it. My group had lots of guys...like 5 guys and 2 gals...the other grps had the oppo composition. Anyway, one of the girls didnt speak up at all cos the guys were dominating the show, cos there were ppl assessing all of us. Felt we did quite a lousy job cos at the end of the 20mins we still didn't really get anything concrete out.
The second activity was better cos I had quite a bit to chip in. It was called some "Man on the moon" thingy where we crashed on the moon n had to rank items to bring with us on a mission to get to mother ship or something. Anyway, I started the ball rolling and managed to persuade them to do certain things though some idiots still refused to use my method (which in my opinion was quite efficient!) oh well...then after tt we had to play this game where we had to form into circles and then using our fingers (pretend your hand is a gun position) to lower a hulla-hoop without our fingers losing contact with the hoop. Its not as easy as you think cos the hoop tends to go up unless everyone relaxes.
Then was the deadly presentation. My group was the last and I was the last speaker. Was quite nervous n guess what...the earlier guys took too much time that I only had 30 sec+ to speak and I was cut off b4 I could even make my 2nd point. Sigh.
Then we had one-on-one interviews. I was the last in my group. Sigh. You know my problem?? I can't lie. And the assessor was good. He could tell that I still couldnt "let go" of social work. So he told me to consider carefully first cos they only want ppl who can commit 100% and asked me to email them if I want to be considered for the scholarship.
I don't think I will.
*My Day Today*
I woke up, did some readings and embarked on my 4 page essay. I expected to take 2-3hrs but ended up spending more than 6hrs on it. Sigh. And its a piece of crap. You know how you know after you write it? Sometimes you feel confident (may be misplaced though ;) sometimes you know you are just writing it for the sake of handing it up. I hate it but I cant help it. arg!
Things got much better when I went to Bridget's place for Confirmation meeting. She made wonderful PIZZA for all of us...had cupcakes, fruits (I didnt touch it) and English tea!! haha wonderful! man...journey is ending soon...till then there's so much to do! arg!
k going to edit my essay before submitting it...nitez one n all...
Sunday, October 10, 2004
Catechism Class
I had to pray again today. No choice. But i didnt really mind.
Had cat class again today. It'll be ending soon...Confirmation is on the 7th of Nov...there's a mad rush to finalise everything these days. My good-for-nothing assistant pissed me off again this morn...what a way to start the day. Ass...don't even want to keep some documents for me cos he says he will lose them. Grow up man - you cant be a kid forever.
Class went surprisingly well. Considering the fact that I had not put in a lot of effort. Joy even thanked me for the lesson after class. Was so surprised. Not been very patient these days and there were so many times during class when the kids just went on talking n yakking tt I felt I was gonna lose it but I didnt. Thank goodness.
Went for mass (initial plan was to skip mass but alan changed tt)...then had a short meeting after tt...Lyn n Jos joined me at the table...am really glad to know the kids better.
It was last year after my Yr1 Sem2 exams that I joined as a Catechist with Alan. How much things have changed since then. I guess what I can say is that I really love these kids. I don't think like is strong enough a word to describe how I feel. Of cos they piss me off now n then...they make me feel sad at times but there r others when it seems all worth it. I rem it was difficult in the beginning...I dont know why but they kinda change when they came into sec3...I think maybe sec2 they r 'in a phase' still. They were like outrightly sleeping in class, sms-ing in class...doing everything but listen. I still rem the day I walked out of my class after they pissed me off BIG time...I rem putting in SO much for tt class, taking so much time to plan and prepare stuff for tt lesson and even bringing down my laptop to show them a MTV so they wouldnt find lessons so boring. I'm really glad I didnt give up on them or on myself.
They're much better now. They still talk now n then but at least they know when to keep quiet...dont sms in class...n try not to piss me off. I feel I dont know some of them still though but just glad that the class is closer. The class really didnt interact much in the past but at least now I can say that most of them know each others' names (or so i hope).
Another thing is that I've been pestered to become a Godparent. I dont want the responsibilty esp now when I'm spiritually low n all but I think this guy really cant find anyone else and so I reluctantly agreed. Man...what am I getting myself into?? but then again, I think I will make a better Godparent than some of those a**holes who dont even bother coming down for meetings n might not come down for the day of recollection/rehearsal in a few weeks time. I will give my best though.
Walking back n talking with Alan...found it quite sad that it's me and him again. Sigh. It's like so many have come n gone. Those that are here cant really commit tt much. N tt irritating guy who I call assistant is of NO help whatsoever. BUT I'm jus grateful for all the ppl I've met along the way and gotten to know better. You guys know who you are. I just hope that more committed ppl would step forward. W/o ppl to guide the youth what will become of the future of the Church? I don't mean to be a hypocrite. Yes I know I'm a bastard but at least I'm committed to the kids and will do my best to do what I can. I think that's the least I can do.
Had cat class again today. It'll be ending soon...Confirmation is on the 7th of Nov...there's a mad rush to finalise everything these days. My good-for-nothing assistant pissed me off again this morn...what a way to start the day. Ass...don't even want to keep some documents for me cos he says he will lose them. Grow up man - you cant be a kid forever.
Class went surprisingly well. Considering the fact that I had not put in a lot of effort. Joy even thanked me for the lesson after class. Was so surprised. Not been very patient these days and there were so many times during class when the kids just went on talking n yakking tt I felt I was gonna lose it but I didnt. Thank goodness.
Went for mass (initial plan was to skip mass but alan changed tt)...then had a short meeting after tt...Lyn n Jos joined me at the table...am really glad to know the kids better.
It was last year after my Yr1 Sem2 exams that I joined as a Catechist with Alan. How much things have changed since then. I guess what I can say is that I really love these kids. I don't think like is strong enough a word to describe how I feel. Of cos they piss me off now n then...they make me feel sad at times but there r others when it seems all worth it. I rem it was difficult in the beginning...I dont know why but they kinda change when they came into sec3...I think maybe sec2 they r 'in a phase' still. They were like outrightly sleeping in class, sms-ing in class...doing everything but listen. I still rem the day I walked out of my class after they pissed me off BIG time...I rem putting in SO much for tt class, taking so much time to plan and prepare stuff for tt lesson and even bringing down my laptop to show them a MTV so they wouldnt find lessons so boring. I'm really glad I didnt give up on them or on myself.
They're much better now. They still talk now n then but at least they know when to keep quiet...dont sms in class...n try not to piss me off. I feel I dont know some of them still though but just glad that the class is closer. The class really didnt interact much in the past but at least now I can say that most of them know each others' names (or so i hope).
Another thing is that I've been pestered to become a Godparent. I dont want the responsibilty esp now when I'm spiritually low n all but I think this guy really cant find anyone else and so I reluctantly agreed. Man...what am I getting myself into?? but then again, I think I will make a better Godparent than some of those a**holes who dont even bother coming down for meetings n might not come down for the day of recollection/rehearsal in a few weeks time. I will give my best though.
Walking back n talking with Alan...found it quite sad that it's me and him again. Sigh. It's like so many have come n gone. Those that are here cant really commit tt much. N tt irritating guy who I call assistant is of NO help whatsoever. BUT I'm jus grateful for all the ppl I've met along the way and gotten to know better. You guys know who you are. I just hope that more committed ppl would step forward. W/o ppl to guide the youth what will become of the future of the Church? I don't mean to be a hypocrite. Yes I know I'm a bastard but at least I'm committed to the kids and will do my best to do what I can. I think that's the least I can do.
Friday, October 08, 2004
I hear but I dont listen...
today had a damn embarrassing incident in class...in front of whole seminar group I talked about something totally irrelevant for some time b4 the lecturer decided to cut in n tell me tt...
I realised that recently I've found it much harder to listen to others...I dont know why...think I'm been too self absorbed?
I know You are there...but I don't wanna talk to You...
I have not been attending any CSS stuff for 2 weeks...usu I dont have to find excuses...things just make it impossible to attend...sometimes...well no CGs, no mass, no talks whatever. The closest I came to praying is when I had to lead my class on sunday. Prob will go for cg this coming week...heh...but prayer or not...life still goes on.
Looking back to how I've grown in NUS these 2 yrs...I think this sem I have degenerated to the point that I came into NUS at. Doesnt really bother me now though cos I dont really give a f***.
I realised that recently I've found it much harder to listen to others...I dont know why...think I'm been too self absorbed?
I know You are there...but I don't wanna talk to You...
I have not been attending any CSS stuff for 2 weeks...usu I dont have to find excuses...things just make it impossible to attend...sometimes...well no CGs, no mass, no talks whatever. The closest I came to praying is when I had to lead my class on sunday. Prob will go for cg this coming week...heh...but prayer or not...life still goes on.
Looking back to how I've grown in NUS these 2 yrs...I think this sem I have degenerated to the point that I came into NUS at. Doesnt really bother me now though cos I dont really give a f***.
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
She's so high -Kurt Nilsen
She's blood, flesh and bone
No tucks or silicone
She's touch, smell, sight, taste and sound
But somehow I can't believe
That anything should happen
I know where I belong
And nothing's gonna happen
'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc or Aphrodite
She's so high, high above me
First class and fancy free
She's high society
She's got the best of everything
What could a guy like me ever really offer?
She's perfect as she can be, why should I even bother?
'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc or Aphrodite
She's so high, high above me
She comes to speak to me I freeze immediately
'Cause what she said sound so unreal
But somehow I can't believe
That anything should happen
I know where I belong
And nothing's gonna happen
'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc or Aphrodite
She's so high, high above me
No tucks or silicone
She's touch, smell, sight, taste and sound
But somehow I can't believe
That anything should happen
I know where I belong
And nothing's gonna happen
'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc or Aphrodite
She's so high, high above me
First class and fancy free
She's high society
She's got the best of everything
What could a guy like me ever really offer?
She's perfect as she can be, why should I even bother?
'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc or Aphrodite
She's so high, high above me
She comes to speak to me I freeze immediately
'Cause what she said sound so unreal
But somehow I can't believe
That anything should happen
I know where I belong
And nothing's gonna happen
'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc or Aphrodite
She's so high, high above me
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Cramps...SWISH...
Hey all...not been feeling too good...been having this stomach cramp thingy again! just know tt it started on sunday n it was so bad i had to see a doc...sigh...really think its psychological. but i cant seem to stop it. Will be resting at home more.
SWISH is this NLP technique tt i learnt in my sw3202 class today...it's damn interesting n it works! today i deleted a sad feeling tt i wanted to forget! n it kinda worked. We supposedly can deleted images or memories tt we want to forget. baotian can vouch for it too!! tell u guys more when i feel better...nitez...
SWISH is this NLP technique tt i learnt in my sw3202 class today...it's damn interesting n it works! today i deleted a sad feeling tt i wanted to forget! n it kinda worked. We supposedly can deleted images or memories tt we want to forget. baotian can vouch for it too!! tell u guys more when i feel better...nitez...
Saturday, October 02, 2004
Day
Woke up grumpy...irritated...rude to dad n bro...then went arts corner doing my own work...then Ser came along. Ser is this girl, another one of those who like to make use of me and whom I had gotten to know in NUS...the first thing she said to me was,"Nick I thot you were gonna tell me more about Catholicism?!?" I didnt know how to react, what to say. In the end while she studied for her test I wrote her a postcard...which I found out later, she left at the corner.
I realised that this sem is the first sem in my NUS life tt I have stopped reaching out to ppl...I guess I have been so absorbed with myself my own issues that others dont bother mean anything to me anymore?? Sigh.
Went for my GEK1036 lesson (only one I really look forward to attending)...some gd news at least...my Research Proposal was put up on IVLE as one of the models...but its only 10% n like Dr Deng himself said, we can still screw it up. I hope to carry on the gd (or lucky) work...Lit Review due this coming week.
Went to Sci Lab for my Gen Bio assignment...went with this other girl...I usu address her as "the girl who likes to make use of me"...this one is more extreme, the demands can be quite unreasonable sometimes...so much so its amazing...was quite disappointed tt ahbao couldnt go with me too...so just went with this girl...was quite cold towards her...even asked her to "leave first if she wanted" cos I was too absorbed with the fruit flies.
K here's about the fruit flies, Drosophila melanogaster, that we got to look at thru microscopes...quite fun! the flies are alive but kinda anesthetised with "flyNap". Then quite funny when this China girl beside me kinda screamed cos though the flies were sleeping, you can see them move under the microscope. hahahaha...sorry in my mean mood...but playing with the microscope kinda reminded me of the days when I was so interested in sci I really thought I was gonna be a scientist working in a lab all day. To prove this I still have my Edu-Sci Microscope (somewhere in the storeroom)...I really loved looking at all the specimies (arg I can't freaking spell!!!) under the microscope. I also realised that my hands shake too much to be able to shift the flies gently from one side to the other. We learned how to distinguish the males from the females. heh...apparently the easiest way (to me) is just to look at the abdomen...the males have this more rounded and blackish abdomen near the posterior end. Then the cool part was looking at the mutated flies, vestigial wing mutants. These flies had a gene modified and the result is super small wings which means they can't fly! Ironic how they are still called flies eh? Then the last mutant flies that we saw had multiple mutations, they had like white compound eyes, small wings and forked-bristles...heh real cool! but a little unethical? I dont know.
then headed down to town...got a little card n poster for e-Nel b4 heading home.
A little story abt e-Nel...she is like the first gal I had a major crush on in NUS? I think so lah...up to today I still think that she is the most 'attractive' gal ard (k ahbao...iliep and aniger also k ;) she looked gd today lah in her Green Zara top...White Zara mini-skirt...n make-up. heh. but the party was kinda awkward for me lah cos I like didnt really know anyone else...just went cos when I wanted to backup...Dan said tt she wished I could be there too...so there I was. Luckily Cher was gd enuff to entertain me lah...but for most of time I like had to daydream...heh...then watched my 1st episode of Spore Idol...such a crap show...kelong one. but had a nice walk alone out from Aloha Loyang to Aranda there to take bus.
So here I m now...been rather mean recently...irritable...hope I get better soon...if only this were PMS...then I know it would end.
I realised that this sem is the first sem in my NUS life tt I have stopped reaching out to ppl...I guess I have been so absorbed with myself my own issues that others dont bother mean anything to me anymore?? Sigh.
Went for my GEK1036 lesson (only one I really look forward to attending)...some gd news at least...my Research Proposal was put up on IVLE as one of the models...but its only 10% n like Dr Deng himself said, we can still screw it up. I hope to carry on the gd (or lucky) work...Lit Review due this coming week.
Went to Sci Lab for my Gen Bio assignment...went with this other girl...I usu address her as "the girl who likes to make use of me"...this one is more extreme, the demands can be quite unreasonable sometimes...so much so its amazing...was quite disappointed tt ahbao couldnt go with me too...so just went with this girl...was quite cold towards her...even asked her to "leave first if she wanted" cos I was too absorbed with the fruit flies.
K here's about the fruit flies, Drosophila melanogaster, that we got to look at thru microscopes...quite fun! the flies are alive but kinda anesthetised with "flyNap". Then quite funny when this China girl beside me kinda screamed cos though the flies were sleeping, you can see them move under the microscope. hahahaha...sorry in my mean mood...but playing with the microscope kinda reminded me of the days when I was so interested in sci I really thought I was gonna be a scientist working in a lab all day. To prove this I still have my Edu-Sci Microscope (somewhere in the storeroom)...I really loved looking at all the specimies (arg I can't freaking spell!!!) under the microscope. I also realised that my hands shake too much to be able to shift the flies gently from one side to the other. We learned how to distinguish the males from the females. heh...apparently the easiest way (to me) is just to look at the abdomen...the males have this more rounded and blackish abdomen near the posterior end. Then the cool part was looking at the mutated flies, vestigial wing mutants. These flies had a gene modified and the result is super small wings which means they can't fly! Ironic how they are still called flies eh? Then the last mutant flies that we saw had multiple mutations, they had like white compound eyes, small wings and forked-bristles...heh real cool! but a little unethical? I dont know.
then headed down to town...got a little card n poster for e-Nel b4 heading home.
A little story abt e-Nel...she is like the first gal I had a major crush on in NUS? I think so lah...up to today I still think that she is the most 'attractive' gal ard (k ahbao...iliep and aniger also k ;) she looked gd today lah in her Green Zara top...White Zara mini-skirt...n make-up. heh. but the party was kinda awkward for me lah cos I like didnt really know anyone else...just went cos when I wanted to backup...Dan said tt she wished I could be there too...so there I was. Luckily Cher was gd enuff to entertain me lah...but for most of time I like had to daydream...heh...then watched my 1st episode of Spore Idol...such a crap show...kelong one. but had a nice walk alone out from Aloha Loyang to Aranda there to take bus.
So here I m now...been rather mean recently...irritable...hope I get better soon...if only this were PMS...then I know it would end.
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