I think that is what really keeps me from getting closer to God.
"I'm not like you Keenan"
This line keeps playing in my head. An incident that happened. The anger manifested itself in words (chinese) and deed. The anger dissipitated almost immediately to be replaced by shame. Acute shame. 6 others saw it, only 2 were not shocked cos they've seen this side of me before. I really hate this side of me and I want to change but don't you realise that it's not that I want to react this way or like it even. I try. I really do. I wish I were more like Keenan.
Supper was good. I like going for supper. More than the food, oftentimes it's the company that really makes the difference. Thank you Wayne for being that company.
I like sitting on the blue bench below my flat. One of the few times that I'm sober sitting there. Thinking. Reflecting. Wondering. Pondering. I like that blue bench. It helps me think clearer when my mind's in a mess. Thank you blue bench.
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6 comments:
We all are guilty of anger, its a question of channeling it away for rational thought. Count to ten, or do what i do, say the Lord's Prayer. Distract and take ur focus out of the anger material. As a short wise guy said before,
Fear leads to hate, hate leads to anger, anger leads to suffering... - ian
Nick,
I think you should say to be "more like Christ".
Keenan himself has flaws, you can see it as a kind of trade off. Where you "fail", he has strength. Where you have strength, he fails.
We are all not perfect and that is why we always aim to be like Christ. And also maybe that is why He gave us each other as friends so that we may learn from each other. We are all journeying, I guess we all have to try harder.
Loves...
hey yandao!
hahaha.. bet no one actually calls u that right! =P
u have ur own strengths and weaknesses.. we all do.
some of our strengths can even be considered as weakness and vice versa!
i believe if we try hard enuff, we can overcome our weaknesses. juz keep repeating it over and over, and acting it out, it may slowly improve.
hahhaa... so glad u missing me so soon! muhahaa!! catch up with u when i'm back k? seeya!!
-jon-
Hey guys thanks for the support n encouragement here. I don't know man...I guess we all have our own ways of channeling our anger cos we prob feel it too. Man, I've been praying about this since I left the army. I guess I've changed in some respects cos my army frens def wont be able to recognise me.
Ian: who's that short wise guy? :)
2nd person: who art thou? thanks for the comments...yupz I guess Christ shd be our role model cos He alone is perfect. I guess I look up to Nan cos in him I see what is lacking in me...I like your comment about frens complimenting each other :)
Jon: I miss you man...u know I had to stop listening to Collide cos it kept reminding me of u! haha n u shd read greg's email...think he misses u too. thanks for the encouragement! n YES ppl do call me tt! :)
dude, there's nothing wrong with feeling angry...it's how u deal with it once it is out, as Morrie in Tuesday would say, respond to the reaction...
of course, it is more desirable to not let it out, but if you can't manage that for now, don't compound on yourself by feeling so lousy...it takes time, and much more than that..
pray dude, i will for u too, God bless
I understand what u mean. Sometimes I get so angry I feel like smacking the person but I try to control and that gives me headaches. But we should not let this poison eat us up and destroy us ya?
Maybe we should go for anger management class together? ;P -shirley-
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