Ache

The past week went by pretty fast...helped by the fact that my lessons only started on thurs. Missed two on Mon since it was National Day. Just rem fear creeping in when I saw all the sw smarties dd the mods with me. It's not gonna be easy. Fri was gd...didnt want to go for post-mass stuff but in the end it was gd...went TCC with abeng n arts ppl. :) also said a closing prayer kinda thing after mass...dont know why but I just felt like saying something...it was a feeling I couldnt really supress but then MarkG pointed out tt I was shouting out the prayer which I did not realise I was doing. And in the end it didnt turn out as gd as I wished it to be. Sigh. But nevertheless I was brave enough to say it out.
Anyway I did something on sat. I guess I feel better in a sense cos....but I just can't get rid of this aching I feel inside. I feel quite sad. :) Every passing moment seems to take ages when I am alone and I seem to have lost quite a bit of meaning in this life. I just float aimlessly ard. Call someone, hoping the person is free. Phone ppl but don't dare to disturb some. Sms some gd frens hoping for them to carry on the messages. Every passing moment takes ages. I do some SP comm stuff but then sun is still up. I will mark my tuition kid's work soon but he didnt do much. I want to study like I set out to do on Proj DO It...shd be starting this week but then again can I? at least i got a study kaki already :) she has been a gd fren these few days. CG starts tomolo...I m looking forward to it...but for now there's something I have to deal with...alone.