Linger....

Listening to the song, I can't help but think some verses are what I feel...though not true, it's true somewhat:

But I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

You know one of my previous blogs that mentioned how hard it was to get out of a low but how hard it was to maintain a high? Well, I feel myself making the downward spiral of the sine curve after it hit its peak (+1 I think)...but I'm gonna try to stop the slide. I don't want to go back anywhere near where I was in early yr3. So yest night when I prayed, I counted my blessing (literally) and counted 10 -

1. Sister Marianna forcing me to donate but me getting a plaque with a verse I like.
2. For the confirmation camp meeting that went rather well.
3. For the company of Alan, Ed & Chris during lunch.
4. For the food & fellowship that we shared.
5. For Chris' sharing with me on how he was going through the same thing with his class.
6. For Ade's blog post comment.
7. For the ppl on msn whom I had a chat with during the WHOLE day.
8. For my sis' egg-mayo.
9. For all those on msn who asked me how I was and/or promised to pray for me.
10. God giving me a rather peaceful ending to the day so my mind didn't need to think.
(not all these were the original 10 which reinforces my belief that we've so much to be thankful for)

I don't know if I can keep this up cos I realise that when you're down, the conceptual lens you view life takes a drastic filter that blocks out the good. Maybe I should keep up this counting of blessings every night and thank God for them in prayer.

Anyway, about the first point right, the plaque I got went something like this: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. I still rem the very first time it touched me. I was at Novena with some of my CG ppl in year 1. It was read out during the Gospel Acclaimation. It struck me becos so many times I try to rationalise or intellectualise everything that I read. I've realise over the years that you can't read with just your mind alone, you need to understand things with your heart as well. And most times, you have to Trust in the Lord our God. That's something I hope to rem. As I go through the next few days, I pray that I will let go of this latest struggle and I trust that God will help me through it through all the wonderful people ard me. God bless you.