Can of worms

I don't think I properly introduced to you guys my thesis topic. it's on the burdens and gains experienced by the caregivers of dementia patients. I've been doing a lot of reading and such but i don't think i gave much thought to the emotional issues involved till I attended the Public Forum on Dementia that was held at York hotel today (sat).
There were quite a few instances when I couldn't help but tear. In particular, Dr Phillip Yap from AH was really inspirational. I don't know why I feel so emotional also. Maybe it was cos of the night before (will tell you about tt later). But I had to control myself from bursting into tears at times. Man. This is gonna be my research. I'm gonna have to interview the caregivers one on one. I can't burst out crying then! What have I gotten myself into? Have I forgotten what an emotional creature I am? Oh well. Like the caregiver said, one step at a time.

Wanna share some phrases which struck me. Some might not mean a time to you, esp if it's more specifically related to dementia caregiving.

"the primary goal of dementia caregiving is to maintain the personhood of the sufferer"

"the longest journey a man has to make is that from his head to his heart"

"Mum has dementia and evetually died from it. She was the same as millions of others except for one important difference - she was my mother" (Davidson)

"the only way to heal is to give of yourself in the service of others" - said by a lady who lost her husband at the Nicholl Highway collapse and then her mother (to dementia) 3 weeks later

"if you want to see the rainbow, you have to 1st learn to put up with the rain"

I don't know why, but i think that this thesis will help me grow. I'm sure it will. For now, i'll have to deal with this emotional can of worms that I've opened.


Last Night...

was one of those nights when I felt really drained but no matter what I couldn't fall asleep. To make matters worse, I kept remembering the unhappy moments and things in my life. To really put the icing on the cake, I couldn't express my emptions. You know how you feel better afer crying, it really sucks when you can't let it out (when you want to of cos). oh well, life's fine, could be better but heck, it could always be better right? Just gotta have to make do.