Marley and Me / Decision made

I finally managed to finish up the book - Marley and Me - on Sunday and not w/o some drama. I essentially wept through two of the chapters; the chapters in which Marley the psychotic and ever faithful & loving dog flirted with death and eventually lost. I guess this book would not have made an impact if I didn't have a dog. But I do. And in a sense, it brought to awareness the reality that one day, my family and I would have to face the same heart-break. I rem Ter Thia some time back being so upset at the loss of her dog. I would say that the pain experienced is no less than that suffered when a family member/loved one passes away. In fact, Dusty has become so much a part of our family that our thoughts don't come back to her when we're out, esp for my mum. I will cherish the moments with her. Truely.

After so much deliberation, I've made a decision. Regardless of the result of my job application, I have decided to leave NUS once my contract ends, 31st Dec 2006. I think that my decision is an obvious choice and it's something I know I should do, but it's painful nonetheless. It seems as if I'm giving up a lot and maybe I am, but I sincerely believe that it is for my own personal and professional growth. I will miss many things, at the foremost, the interactions with students, my office and my wonderful CSS friends whom I can seek refuge from when things don't go well. I really don't know where I will be come next year but hopefully my application works out. Hopefully. Would appreciate your prayers :)

On another front, things are looking ominous. Actually, truth be told, I know I should move on. But as usual, theory and practice find it difficult to reconcile. Oh, that sinking feeling. Somebody save me! I hope I can save myself this time. And I have a feeling that I'm stronger and this time, I can help to help myself move on. I must.