..

I just counted - I have exactly 14 days of work left; excluding 1.5 days of leave that I have yet to clear. Is 14 days enough to finish what I have to? I don't know. Do I care? I don't know either. My feelings about leaving are ambivalent - on the one hand i know it's best for my professional & personal growth (probably to stop my physical growth as well; which is a good thing), whilst on the other, there's so much I feel I'm giving up. An example of how what you know is best for you but you can't really put it into action without feeling some sort of dissonance.

I have been enjoying the past few days (maybe even weeks). Sat was particularly sweet, with Glo's housewarming! It was nice to just catch up with the rest of the house reps, some of whom I have not seen since JC! And it's quite interesting to see the diverse professions tt we're in - teaching, software programming, free-lance writing, trader, industrial designer, nursing (!), air forces, medcine...haha I wonder who I left out...got to know Ale better also cos she stays in Sengkang and we shared a cab back...too bad she's returning to Aussie soon...I think recent meet-ups and gathering have left me missing NJ days pretty much...and looking at glo's pics sure refreshed some memories...heh.

On another front, I'm fighting a battle. A battle which I think I can only lose get hurt. Hurt pretty badly. I guess what Alan said is true, but am I willing to take the risk? Alas, the words from Macbeth seem so far though the analogy is a tad bit grosteque:

"I 'd waded in blood so far, that returning were as tedious as to go o'er"

There's another song right that goes something along the lines of "having gone in too deep"... yeah, something like tt...somehow I think things will be completely different once exams end... I pray for strength Lord, walk with me and guide me. Don't let me break. Pls, no.