Most of the morning has passed and I have yet to begin writing a single word for my essay due tomorrow. The fact is I'm too emotionally charged to write anything. Definitely not an essay about the theory of a family therapy and its application into a case example.
It's amazing how people can be 9 years apart and still go through the exact emotions; the same reaction to a similar situation. I guess it's really true that you have to had gone through it in order for you to help someone and to be able to feel it in that person's shoes. How else can we help the person if we can't fathom his/her subjective reality, but instead attempt to apply our textbook teachings into the situation cos "research has shown that...".
I was thinking about something said during CG...that God gives us all we need/want but not directly through the means we think will get will us those needs/wants (e.g. want a gd job doesnt mean we'll do well for all our studies but God still will give us that good job). So He determines the end but the process is up to us?
Last night I prayed, earnestly, for the 1st time in a long time, for God to take away all the pain that exists in this world. I can't take it anymore. Why must pain exist? Why must I see my friends go through pain? Why must people I know hurt themselves in order to feel better about themselves? Why can't teens get along with their parents? Why do people have to experience the illness and death of their loved ones? Why? WHY??
I guess the problem is that I don't know where or rather how to draw the line so that my friends' problems are not mine. But I can't. I feel all they do and it's really getting to me. How the fuck am I gonna be a social worker if this carries on? I will burnout in no time. But I want to help everyone. I don't want anyone to "fall through the cracks" and be forgotten or unhelped. But somehow time doesnt seem to permit me to. I'm really not enjoying my honours year at all. K this may be an exaggeration but the fact remains that it's stopping me from doing the things that I want to do - helping people - cos I seem to be too busy with 'more important things'.
"In the service of love, only broken hearts will do"
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2 comments:
hey nic...process and end result is both important to God. But what's MOST important to God is YOU! :) He made you and won't give you more than you can take. Surrender to Him and He will take care of what you cannot, k? Dun worry dude. Pray unceasingly and trust in God & be at peace...coz the alternative will just super stress u out. Take care ;)
hey.. just dropping a note to say hi! hope u dun get too depressed over these stuff. altho pain exists, God has already prepared a place called heaven heaven for us. take care...
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