:(

I don't know whether you guys have noticed but I'm trying to keep a positive outlook esp on my blog and in my life in general. I don't want ppl to comment that my blog is depressing and ppl chancing upon it would probably think so. I agree with some of the readings I read, namely on the Psychology of Mind and Health Realisation, that it is up to YOU to determine whether you want to be happy or otherwise. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that you can just snap out of a bad/sad/depressed mood but I'm saying that at the end of the wallowing and dwelling, YOU have to make that decision to move on and make something different in your life.
Just this wed, I had dinner with Nan and we talked about a lot of stuff. While talking to him, I surprised even myself with my somewhat optimisitc and carefree orientation. I want to be like that. I like it that way.
Now, I'm struggling to shake off this pain inside of me! No, I doubt its my knee which started hurting during soccer (w/o any tackles or running - sigh). It's the heaviness I carry. Can't explain it. Can't stand it. I want it to go away. I want to plan for Cat Class but I'm just so distracted. I'm worried about outreach but I can't make it today. There's so many worries swimming, swarming my head but I can't let it go. My heaviness is dragging me down but I have to let it go. There are others who need the strong me. I need the strong me to function. God grant me my strong me. Lift away my heaviness, sadness, pain. Deliver me.