but I found somewhere else to say it. Every single word...w/o censorship...my true and innermost feelings. That's the problem when you know others are reading this...u can't say everything that's in your heart - the hurt, the disappointment, your innermost thoughts/feelings.
Friday was a screwed up day: hp spoil, some fucker banged into me causing me to spill my entire cup of hot milo (I almost pulled him back but my fren CY stopped me)...I wanted to punch his fucking face. Screwed up service at Sony Ericsson service centre. Stupid girl...can't understand simple english and try to screw ard with me. You caught me on a wrong day you bitch.
Games Day: At least I attained my goal of not losing my temper or whacking anyone. Scored my first goal at Games Day. Missed a penalty. Lost the finals 3-2 when leading 2-0. What the fuck were we thinking. Sigh.
Cat Class: Interesting...getting to know Alan and Ed's classes...getting in tune with my own class..
Just lazing around, not doing anything. Something is wrong. I feel lethargic all the time, can never get up in the mornings, never have enough rest (despite 8+ hrs of sleep), no mood to do any work, no discipline, overwhelming pessimistic and sad thoughts, a meaningless existence. I live for the moment. I live for that moment where you smile, laugh, momentary breaks from a meaningless existence. At the end of the day...everything is the same. Nothing changes. Life sucks.
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And then we also realise we are not alone, and frustration needs to be released. God be with u frd - ian
man.. i'm sorry to hear that your week didn't go too smoothly. there's a lot to be said, i know. i hope that you've found a little peace with regards to all that's bothering you.
personally, i live for those moments in life, just like you said. those moments may pass in a blink of an eye, but life is better because of them. that's where i derive meaning. that's how i see it anyway. :P
i'm here if you need help, or a listening ear, nick. maybe not all problems and frustrations can be resolved, but with support and friendship, they can be tackled with new strength.
p.s. you played well on saturday! we won and lost as a team, so i won't tolerate any of that "it's-my-fault" thingy... that's if you ever had such thoughts anyway. :)
hey guys thanks a lot...
thanks Ian for the reminder n for ur message...
wayno...u know I keep playing 2 of the goals again n again...why didn't I mark Dom...why didn't I play to the whistle...sigh...I didnt expect to think about it so much...but like u said I shd try to look at the bright side...I did make a few gd passes :)
it's hard wayno I don't know why...it's like you're dragging your feet on the ground...the next day its mud...the next seems like cement...thanks for being around dude...appreciate it lots...all the best for ur tests/papers...God bless
Hey big guy, hope you'd be able to draw strength from somewhere, to refresh your tired and weary soul. Hope you find that burst of energy, that zest for life, that humour, that Nick I knew in FOC. Will be praying for you man. Fr Stades mentioned, that we should never stop questioning about things, but don't dwell in the depression hole yea. Get out of it when you're ready, and embrace God and His love for you. God bless!
Hey guy... look like u have real nice frens... hee... see... ur existence is not meaningless afterall mah... u are impt to us... =)
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